I am a mess.
I start notebooks and never finish them; I chew my pens to
death. I will paint my nails and I will have chipped off half the varnish in no
more than two hours. I refuse to pair my socks and I can’t remember the last
time I brushed my hair. I think a coffee with two sweeteners is an acceptable
meal and the smell of cigarettes reminds me of home. My room is rarely clean
and I never do my own laundry.
I have a switch blade attitude and a glare that could freeze
over hell. I break the spines of books and cut up magazines. My notes are
always covered in doodles and illegible, my homework is rarely done on time and
I can’t remember the last time I was in a good mood for a whole day of college.
My lipstick is always a mess and my feet are constantly aching from the heels I
wear and I always complain. I am unintentional flirt who is incapable of
recognising when someone is flirting back.
I am unnecessarily stubborn and refuse help even when I need
it. I am never on time and I have turned making up excuses into an art form. I
am pathologically sarcastic and I have a savage sense of humour. My mouth has
no filter and I make promises I never keep. I hoard pointless things and I live
on a tangent. I procrastinate for weeks on end and then get ridiculously stressed
out.
Money is no object until I have none left and I spend too
much time shopping online instead of studying. I have no concept of how to
react to other people’s emotions and I am sometimes too blunt for my own good.
I crave love but I am terrified of commitment. My first reaction to bad things happening
is to hide from them and I put too much love into drinking. I over think
everything and I am indecisive. My mind is constantly going at a million miles an hour even though it seems like I'm going nowhere. I have a lot of walls up that prevent me from being close with people and I am very picky about who I let in or how close they get.
I am always embarrassing myself and making bad choices. When
something won’t go my way, I give up and I am irrationally secretive. My self
confidence is at rock bottom despite how vain I am and I am easily bought. I am
a walking cliché and pretentiously poetic. I know what I want and I will do
whatever it takes to get it.
I am ridiculously bitter and pessimistic even though I am always laughing or being loving towards my friends. I put way too much of myself in to pointless things and many of my relationships have been unhealthy at best. I spend too much time caring for others and not enough time looking after myself and I spent a lot of time chasing and loving people who didn't treat me well. It's only recently that I have gained a big group of friends whom I know all care for me and treat me well; but even though these relationships are better for me than previous ones- they still frighten me.
I am ridiculously bitter and pessimistic even though I am always laughing or being loving towards my friends. I put way too much of myself in to pointless things and many of my relationships have been unhealthy at best. I spend too much time caring for others and not enough time looking after myself and I spent a lot of time chasing and loving people who didn't treat me well. It's only recently that I have gained a big group of friends whom I know all care for me and treat me well; but even though these relationships are better for me than previous ones- they still frighten me.
I know I have these flaws, as do the people I surround
myself with. These imperfections make me who I am, and they love me for them –or
enough to put up with them- just as I love theirs. Some of these things I am
working on, I try to improve my habits even if I can’t entirely fix them, but
some of these character faults I know aren’t going anywhere soon.
(Credit for the GIF goes to the creator, I'm sorry I have know source :/ please let me know if it's yours)
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