Drunk Words

People underestimate the truth behind the statements a drunk person comes out with. They assume that because a person has had one too many drinks, that a person’s thoughts become less genuine- that they’re just another side effect of the alcohol. But that’s not always the case.

Sure, alcohol removes the filter between a person’s brain and a person’s mouth does mean that they tend to talk crap, but that also means that they are also likely to say the things that they’re too afraid to say sober. I've seen people reveal their deepest secrets, confess their feelings for someone and make life changing decisions, all whilst they were intoxicated. When the rooms spinning, it’s a bit difficult to concentrate on what comes out of your mouth. There are no boundaries when you've had a drink, no fear, no anxiety; it’s a blessing and a curse.

They may be honest, but a drunk person also forgets why they were hiding things in the first place- sometimes they tell secrets that aren't there’s to give away or say things better left unsaid. They forget what they say has an impact on whoever may be listening- whether it means that they get hurt or they are just left with a big secret to keep. Drunken words can be dangerous- there’s a lot of power in the thoughts of a drunk person, once that filter has been taken away, only the truth is left.

Alcohol may have its setbacks, the morning after sucks and it has the capability to ruin a life- but you must admit, it’s the perfect way to find out the truth. 

We Need Feminism

“Why do we even need feminism?”

There’s only one way to answer a question like that.

We need feminism because the bra strap of a 13 year-old makes her 45 year old maths teacher uncomfortable. We need feminism because when my 7 year old cousin came home with a black eye, the school excused it by saying “boys will be boys”. We need feminism because there are countries where young girls are mutilated for the crime of being born a woman. We need feminism because women are still objectified by men and treated as prizes in order to demonstrate dominance. We need feminism because people still believe that a woman’s appearance is more important than any other of her qualities. We need feminism because young girls are shot for trying to obtain an education. We need feminism because trans-women are still being told that they aren't “really women”. We need feminism because the most offensive thing you could tell a child is that they are “like a girl”. We need feminism because gender roles are still forced upon us. We need feminism because every day young girls are being married to men three times their age. We need feminism because girls are constantly forced into competition with one another. We need feminism because young girls are still being solved into the sex and slavery trade. We need feminism because women are judged for the same activities that men are praised for.

I am aware of how privileged I am. I am a white, cis-gendered; heterosexual from a middle class background in a first world country- I am extremely lucky. I have never been abused for my skin colour, or the people I love- I have never gone hungry- I have never been threatened by societies expectations of me. However I am a woman, which means that I am at a disadvantage in the world’s patriarchal society. However because of all of the other attributes I have on my side, I am not faced with the worse end of the bargain and because of these advantages in the first world many other people are convinced that “we don’t need feminism”. And to some extent they’re right, in the society I live in I am not worse off- I can get an education, I am not forced into marrying an older man and I am not threatened with FGM daily.

However there are women who are threatened with these things. There are women who are killed for defending their basic rights as human beings. There are trans-gendered women who can’t even use the bathroom designated to women. Girls are turned into sex objects and forced into industries that promote their sexualisation. But these women don’t have a position to voice their problems; they aren't at as high an advantage as women like myself and many of you. Why would you waste that advantage by not fighting for you fellow females and their rights to the benefits that we have? These women don’t have the platform that we have. By fighting the problems we are faced with like the objectification, health and rape of women we are able to slowly raise awareness to the sexism of our society and the patriarchy we live under and once that has been accomplished we can apply this on a much wider, more revolutionary way. We need to fix the immediate problems in order to gain the power to fix the global problem.

We must follow in the footsteps of Maya Angelou, of Virginia Woolf, of Malala Yousafzai. These incredible women have given us a spark, a starting point, a platform for change and now we must use it. 

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time I lived for fairytales.

I would stay up until midnight reading story books- coveting them like diamonds- drinking in the promises of magic, princes and a happily ever afters. My life was lived waiting for the twist in my tale, the magic spell that would push me into a whole new world with some funny words and a magic carpet ride. I couldn’t wait to escape to the royal ball, where I could wear a beautiful dress and dance with the man of my dreams.

I thought I found it once. I found a boy with a sparkling smile and a smouldering expression that could make me melt in seconds. He promised me the world so I spent months, years chasing him on his white horse- waiting for him to whisk me away to Neverland. But it slowly dawned on me that this Beast would never become a Prince, and that no fairy godmother could fix the mess I was in. I was lost in the woods, with no cottage for sanctuary and no huntsman to come to the rescue.

I don’t believe in fairytales anymore- there will be no happily ever after for me. 

The Book That Made Me Live A Better Story

I have always been a book worm, it runs in the family- there have been times when I have read 3 books in a day; it took me less than a week to finish the whole Harry Potter series. I have also always believed that not one of us is truly original, we are made up of our experiences, the films we watch, the people we know: the books we read. But I have never been able to confidently pin-point a single book that shaped the way I lived my life or that completely changed my perspective on a situation. That was until I read ‘A Million Miles in a Thousand Years’ by Donald Miller, and I can now say that- without a shadow of a doubt- that this book changed my life.

The novel chronicles how the process of turning his previous memoir into a film caused Miller to completely change the way he lived, using his own experiences, things he learned along the way and stories of the people he has met to create an epic narrative of self improvement and discovery. The book is summarised perfectly by its subtitle ‘What I learned while editing my life’. The book takes the form of a self help book as well as a memoir, as Miller shares the things he has learned about writing stories and how a good narrative is formed to improve his own life and through the novel, how we can apply it to our own lives. However it wasn't necessarily Miller’s own story that inspired me, it was in fact a story from a friend of Miller that changed my perspective on life.

The story is entitled ‘How Jason Saved His Family’ and is about a man whose daughter has fallen into a bad crowd and the bad habits that go along with them. Miller’s response to hearing his friend’s family troubles is to explain the basis of a narrative- a character that wants something and has to overcome conflict to get it. After hearing this Jason realised that he hadn't provided his daughter with the opportunity to live a good story; that “his daughter had chosen another story, a story in which she was wanted, even if she was only being used” He then goes on to say that he was aware that his daughter wasn't a bad person, she was just trying to make the best of a bad situation by saying “She’s not a bad girl... She was just choosing the best story available to her”.

Jason then goes on to tell Miller on what he did to save his family, he volunteered for them to raise 25,000 dollars to build an orphanage, offering his daughter the chance to choose a better story for herself without forcing her to leave the one she had already chosen. This worked for his family and resulted in his daughter leaving the crowd she had fallen into and the rekindling of his marriage. He managed to convince his daughter to leave the bad story she had chosen for one that was more appealing to her, giving her the opportunity to remain the protagonist of her story without becoming the antagonist either.

This chapter in itself had a deep impact on me. I read this book during a very bad time, a time when I guess you could say that I was living a bad story. I lost myself and everything seemed dark, but for some reason I just couldn't find the light. I saw myself in Jason’s daughter- I spent all of my time looking after other people because I knew they needed me and it distracted me from my own problems, while I let them gradually devour me. The feeling of someone wanting you there, needing you to help them through their life is enough to distract you from your own. Who cares if the rest of your world is falling apart if that one person needs you there? I was aware that I was being used, but it made me feel wanted so I chose to ignore the truth of the situation. I didn't even realise I was doing it, but I spent so much time running and hiding from my problems that in the process, I lost myself too. It got so far that I couldn't even remember the person I was before I started running.

Then I read this chapter and it hit me hard. Until then I hadn't even realised how dark it was and how lost I had become- so I decided to change. This wasn't an overnight fix, I’m not like a car, spending one night in a garage and being as good as new. This change involves constant repair; I’m constantly falling apart or breaking but now every time it happens I just patch myself up again and keep going. But that realisation allowed me to start making changes that slowly improved the way I was living. I withdrew from the bad people I had enveloped myself in, separated myself from their problems and faced my own head on. I dealt with my problems and forced myself to be the hero I had unknowingly been waiting for, and dragged myself kicking and screaming away from my bad story.

And as soon as I made this change I was able to find a new group of friends, people who made me happier, who made me laugh even if I still wasn't in the best of places and who, since then, I have made some of the most amazing memories imaginable with. These changes were small, difficult but small- it wasn't until my dad mentioned it to me, that I realised how much of a difference they had made. We were in the park and I was on the swings, laughing so hard my eyes  had teared at an awful joke he had told and then he looked at me and said ‘I missed this, you were so dark for a while, but you've got your light back’. Somehow these people who I had surrounded myself with had found the light switch inside of me that I had been struggling to find for so long. I put it down to this book that I was able to make these changes that slowly led to the most positive change I have ever made- that led to my light coming back.

Looking back, there is one quote from that chapter that finally applies to me, one that is true to the change that took over 3 years to make. I’m still working on it, I’m still determined make my life the best story imaginable, but for now I’m happy with the story I’m living. I may not have seen the world yet, or changed the way it works but I’m miles ahead of where I was, and I don’t plan on turning back. So if there is a single quote from this book that describes my story in this moment it would be Jason’s closing statement in the story of how he saved his family-

 “She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while.”

Sunday Afternoons

Everyone seems to live for the weekend. The wild nights that you barely remember and waking up with a stranger who you hope to forget. But sometimes the fast life leaves you breathless, chasing the next party makes you forget where you came from. You end up lost.

There’s people in your life who are the epitome of a Saturday night, the people with whom you share you Marlboro Lights and who dare you to do just one more shot of tequila. And yes, they’re fun- the best kind of distraction from real life with its real life problems and its real life consequences. They are what have you laughing into a bottle of cheap vodka and screaming the words to awful pop songs at the top of your lungs until you’ve forgotten why you drinking vodka from the bottle in the first place. Because who cares about the hangover, or the come down? Who cares about Monday when it feels so far away? You stop caring because as long as there is another party you still have something to run to. And these are the people who will make sure you run until your feet bleed.

But then come the people who are like a Sunday afternoon- you don’t have to chase them until you can’t breathe. You may be sharing your Marlboro’s but they make you a cup of tea to say ‘thanks’. They’re not trying to fill that hole in your life, just trying to make it a little less painful- not trying to distract you from your problems, but help you through them. The people that will have you sitting on a kitchen floor with a bottle of wine at two in the morning and dancing under the stars until you’re so tired that you end up sleeping on your lumpy sofa. Because why would you want to risk the morning after when you don’t need the night before anymore? Who needs to stay out all night when you have a reason to stay home? Why would you hate a Monday morning if it means waking up with your better half snoring softly into the pillow next to yours? You start caring because you never want to have to chase a Saturday night again. They’re the people who keep your feet on the ground while your heart is in the clouds.

That’s why a Sunday Afternoon will always beat a Saturday Night; because it’s not about getting lost, it’s about feeling at home.

New Year, Not-So New Me

Since this is my first post of the year, I thought I'd talk about some of my new years resolutions. Surprisingly this is my first year ever making resolutions; I have always been the type to laugh at the cliche 'New Year, New Me' posts that are always floating about at this time of year, so I thought I'd make some this year and see whether I would keep to them. Plus maybe posting them for the world to see will make me a little more likely to keep them. However I went a bit overboard on the resolution list so thought I'd narrow it down to my top five and give a little insight into why I chose them with each one.

1) Draw, read and write more! - At the end of last year I realised that since starting college I had become insanely lazy when it came to these three things; three of my passions had slowly become more like chores. I will normally finish of a sketchbook or a notebook in under a month but I've yet to finish ones I bought in September! There are books on my shelves that I had been dying to read that I am now too tired to even look at! So in this new year I am determined to get my passion and drive back, I refuse to let my love for these things die out.

2) Learn to cook- This may seem simple to some people but anyone who knows me will know that my culinary skills just about stretch to boiling eggs and making toast. Unless I'm being cooked for I seem to live on cereal, soup and ready meals and that probably isn't the healthiest lifestyle to lead. My family love to bring up how I managed to give myself food poisoning with chicken nuggets so I am determined to have them eating their words by the end of the year.

3) Learn to drive- I turn 17 this year so I am determined to have my driver license before the year is through. Driving will mean I'm a lot less limited in where I can and can't go since trains, buses and taxis make me ridiculously anxious. Plus I will be able to go to the drive-thru Starbucks whenever I want as soon as I have a license; no longer will I have to put up with my dad's dreadful attempts at coffee making!

4) Sleep more- I am a natural born worrier, with anxiety and my tendency to overthink EVERYTHING this makes for very little sleep. Since I was a kid I've been averaging at about 4-5 hours a night, and that comes with a hell of a lot of drawbacks. I'm constantly tired, unable to focus and the bags under my eyes have bags! But no matter how exhausted I am, come 11 o'clock I am completely incapable of sleep because my mid just refuses to shut off. So this year I am determined to get into the habit of going to sleep earlier, for the sake of my mental health and my poor family who are kept awake by me watching TV until 3 in the morning nearly every night.

5) Get a job and stop wasting money- I lost my job in November and have since been unemployed. Now a smart person would have spent there money carefully and saved until they got a new job, but I am not that person and now have around £10 to my name. Plus this year I'm planning to go to Leeds festival and I want to go travelling next year, but at the moment I can barely afford to buy lunch. So this year I need a job and I am determined to get into the habit of saving my money so that I actually afford to do all of these things, otherwise I'm going to be stuck here for a while.

So there is my top five resolutions, bearing in mind there are another 15 or so of the classic 'Be healthier' and 'Spend more time with family' which I am less likely to stick to. As well as all of these I am determined to post at least one thing on here a week, if not more. Whether it is a full blog post, some bits and bobs I've been or something entirely different.

I hope you all had a great Christmas and a happy new year!

-Georgia xx

Art Isn't Useless

I'm an artist by nature, I run after any opportunity I have to turn the fleeting whims of my mind into something permanent, something real. Whether it be through writing or painting or photographs, nothing makes me happier than taking a moment or thought and making it into something inherently beautiful. However for as long as I've had this need to create, there have also been people trying to pull me down from the clouds; people telling me that being an artist isn't a real job, that I'm not good enough to get any where with such silly ideas, people who have forgotten that art is one of life's most important endeavors. People who believe that art itself is useless.

However that is not true. Without art how would we see anything as beautiful. How would we know love if it weren't depicted in every art-form we know of? How would we see that nothing in life is either black or white, but all of the colours in between? How would we have language if someone had not use it to create? How would we know of beauty? Or of other cultures? Or of independence? Without art and the power it hold we would be blind to the world! It was Shakespeare who created most of the English language to put his beautiful stories into it's physical forms, the ancient Greek authors who teach us of their culture through their writing. Art is everlasting. In Psalms 149:3 of the Bible it states 'Let them praise His name with dancing; Let them sing praises to Him with Timbrel and Lyre' in God's eyes art is one pf the truest forms of prayer, there is nothing more genuine than song. Why would God make such a beautiful gift if it was useless

Art is a force to be reckoned with, it gives people independence and free will and there is nothing more powerful than that. Hitler burned libraries, ISIS plan to destroy museums all because they understand that art cannot lie, cannot be censored and cannot be hidden; therefore for their causes it must be destroyed before it reveals their true natures. It gives people a voice in a world where they may not have one; gives people the chance to be heard in a world on full blast. It gives people the freedom they are being denied. Art is a key that unlocks the mind of not only the artist, but also the minds of the people who get to experience it. For some it's a glimmer of hope in a world where this is little left of it, a beacon of light, a promise, a wish. Like Oscar Wilde said 'Art is the most intense form of individualism the world has ever known' whether you are looking to lose yourself in it or use it to find yourself with it art is one of the few ways in which people are truly able to be themselves.

How could something with so much power be useless?