The 'U' word

My whole life my parents have been tight on language, and what words are and aren't acceptable for a young lady, or person, to use. I spent most of my childhood referring to words the grown-ups and naughty kids used as the 'F' word or the 'B' word, simply because to my young mind, they were the worst things you could possibly say aloud. However there was one word that no-one ever warned me about. A word that can ruin lives and alter the way a person lives. That word is the 'U' word, and to me, that is a word no person should ever use.

Ugly is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and because of this people seem to not realise the power behind it. It's come to a point where people treat the word as a joke, and expect others to feel the same way, without considering how the recipients of the word may feel about it.

My whole childhood I was called ugly. I was picked on because I was chubbier than the other kids my age, I was called fat and ugly among other things, however looking back, I don't think half of the kids calling me these things really understood how it was affecting me. However whether they were aware of the the issues they cause for me or not, it is still something that has influenced my life to this very moment. Now I'm not going into detail on its exact affect because it's something I'm still dealing with and something very personal to me.

To me, there is only one explanation for the way I was treated and it's that because of how often the word is used in both media and real life, these kids didn't understand the weight of what they were saying.

Everyday there is a celebrity being called 'fat' or 'a mess' by a troll on the internet, or a grimey journalist and everyday we compare ourselves to these people, especially young girls, and ask ourselves 'If these beautiful people are unattractive, what does that make me?' and the answer is always the same, 'ugly'. And this thought process is what leaves us with such a dangerous word being thrown around so carelessly.

We expect people to handle that word in the same way we do ourselves, forgetting that some people don't feel the same way about the word. For example a few of my friends will jokingly call themselves and others ugly without thinking about it, because to them it is meaningless, but for some people like myself whether the tone was joking or not, it still has a powerful effect on my already low self esteem and mood generally. And I don't blame them for that, whether it's a personal experience with the word that has made me feel this way or not, they aren't aware of the effect it has. But I simply believe it is a word with a lot of power that people underestimate.

So please next time you're thinking about calling somebody ugly, whether it's yourself, somebody else or whether it's as a joke or seriously, just don't.